CityGirl Guide to Love
As it is Valentine’s Day, I thought I would write about Love, perhaps not in the way most people are writing about it, I hope to offer something a little different.
Love certainly is in the air, in the shops, in the magazines, but I wonder how many of you, like me, sometimes find it easier to love everyone else more so than yourself?Yet the longest relationship any of us will ever find ourselves in,is the one we are in right now, withourselves. Surely then this should be the relationship we constantly nurture, cherish and adore?
Sadly not for many of us. Many people tell me they are looking for love elsewhere, someone special to be with , yet most of them are not in love with themselves, their current situations, nor in love with what they have to offer someone else. My response is simple; don’t expect to attract the right partner if you are not even attracted to yourself! Harsh but true.
That’s the thing you see, it is up to you who you attract and if you are not attracting then it is time to start acting like you are, get out there and start, it is all in a moment of decision really. Think about what type of partner you would like to attract, and as attraction includes the word action you’ve got to go out and take that action to meet someone.
I didn’t attract my own“Mr tall, dark and handsome” until I actually started taking action to treat myself right, lovingly and romantically. The great Universal Truth that I want to share with you is hidden in this point, once you value yourself enough, you will then attract others who also value you and want to be with you. Simple!
It is a funny thing this Universal Energy , it seems to deliver to you what you are after only when you realize that you actually already have what you think is missing. Soask yourself, where do you have love, romance,and the man/woman? Can you see it is in your life somewhere? Who is representing a romance for you right now? Once you can see that you have what you are after, it is much easier to have a delivery in the form you really want.
It wasn’t until I began to see myself as a “girlfriend” that I attracted the love of my own life. For too long of my time in London, I felt pretty isolated, single and lonely to be honest, searching and hoping that someone else would come along and fill in the jigsaw for me, I wondered why I kept meeting men who really were not that available or who were not after a girlfriend.
Turns out I really was not available for myself, nor was I treating myself like a deserved girlfriend. The moment I started to get comfortable with loving my own company, going to places alone, buying my own flowers, lighting candles in the room just for me, was the moment the Universe woke up and delivered to me what I was ultimately requesting, to be a girlfriend and to be loved.
You see we teach the world how to treat us by demonstrating how we treat ourselves. If we are harsh and undeserving of pleasure or luxury or time off for ourselves then we cannot expect to attract relationships that are nurturing for us. We must first treat ourselves lovingly, be our own Valentineand enjoy us before we can be in full on relationships loving others.
Having been in a relationship for 4years now, I would like to go further and to say that this special treatment of the self really mustn’t ever cease. Too often we get into relationships and then expect the partner to provide the romance, the dinners, the love, but really it is ultimately down to us to treat ourselves respectfully, in doing so we can receive manifold from our partners.
How I manifested the love of my life? (After manifesting men I thought I wanted!)
- I got comfy with myself and being alone
- I treated myself as the “girlfriend”:Gifts, flowers, dates
- I wrote a list of the characteristics I wanted in a man: Tall, dark, handsome, (yes cliché I know) London based, foreign, richer than me! (go into as much detail as you desire, the clearer you are the better)
- I kept my attention on this list, carried it with me, looked at it and refined it when necessary
- I boarded an airplane to Italy with my list firmly planted in my mind, saw my manifestation right in front of me and sat down next to him, struck up a conversation and now we have been together nearly 4 years!
The interesting thing is that I stillcontinue to treat myself as the girlfriend, and in turn I am treated extremely well and pampered by my lovely man. So I guess I would like to remind you to be your own Valentine,every day. Treat yourself well, and then allow the Universe to send you someone who will treat you equally well.
Remember that like always attracts like, your energy draws to you someone of your equal, if you are attracting unavailable or harsh partners, then chances are that you are pretty unavailable and harsh on yourself. If you are in a relationship and your needs are not being met, then drop the unrealistic expectations on your partner and start meeting your needs yourself, in doing so you can watch your relationship transform into what you really want.
A teacher of mine advocates the following: “Love people for whom they are and they quickly turn into people you love” Dr.John Demartini.
To all of my readers, you have my love this Valentine’s Day.