CityGirl Guide….Finding Love In The City For The Career Conscious Woman
“You choose who you’re going to love”
People often confuse infatuation with love, infatuation is not love, it’s a fantasy you create about your ideal man.
I often come across career women who have not yet found the “man of their dreams”, but it’s rarely their careers that are holding them back from this but rather their fantasy lists of how and who Mr. Dream should be .
You want him to:
- Make the first move
- Buy you everything you desire (me!)
- Not get in the way of your business or career
- Love everything that you love
- Earn more than you
- Not get to close or get closer!
(At least this is what I’m hearing over and over and yes I’ve been guilty too)
You do have to have standards Ladies absolutely but how can men possibly live up to and sustain your fantasy ideals over a period of months consistently let alone a lifetime?
When the man can’t comply with your rules, values and fantasies , you then label him as “unloving” or something similar. (I’ve done exactly the same).
You probably decide that he’s not “the one” after all , so why bother, let’s make do with the Prada handbag and get back to the office fast!
What if you could have the career and the man and LOVE both?
Italy is a classic place to be in love but the love/fantasy scenario is rampant.
“Love” is displayed very publicly here, there’s kissing, hand holding and eye gazing under the stars , but rest assured for all their love there’s an equal amount of “hate” on display too.
Foul mouth displays in sweet sounding Italian are the norm when primadonna’s (the men!) are not getting their way, and affairs , well sometimes they’re just the way.
In past relationships I’ve often experienced these Italian swings of highs and lows in love, it can be really exciting but it’s exhausting and I’ve discovered not real love.
Love is a much calmer experience, God-like, it’s the balance of embracing both sides of someone, loving them constantly without the unrealistic expectations for them to be a different way or to live your way.
Thanks to finding and embracing real love I now get to have the career I love and the man I love, so I know it’s possible for you too.
You can see people as “in the way “ or “on the way” which are you choosing?
So if you’re a busy career woman, maybe living in the big bold City too, and you’d love to find real love in your life whilst keeping your business or career in tact, then follow the guidance below and remember real love starts and ends with you.
Finding Real Love for The Career Conscious Woman
1. Love yourself first.
If you haven’t found love yet it’s possible evidence that you haven’t learned to love yourself yet.
Do 3 things everyday that demonstrate that you love you.
- Speak to yourself gracefully.
- Invest in yourself and image wisely.
- Feed your body lovingly
If you don’t love yourself no-one else will either.
2. Determine what’s stopping you having a man right now?
Yes you have a career and maybe your own business but that doesn’t need to stop you also having a man in your life, what if he could add to your career in unforeseen ways?Determine what fears and (past men) you’re holding in your mind that stop the new man taking residence in your life?
3. Find your biggest Why.
Ask yourself honestly why you want a man in your life, what’s your short and long-term objectives? Yes I know you may want sex but that’s not a big enough why to keep someone in your life forever, what’s really your why?
4. Mentally download “Mr .Perfect” then create “Mr. Right”
Mr.Perfect doesn’t exist ! So do this mental download and get all of your fantasies and perfect ideals out on paper then look at what you’re asking for.
- Is he real?
- Is this sustainable over the next 50 years?
- Is this like you?
If you can’t live up to the ideals you’re asking for how can he?
Now, to gain perspective take a sip of your wine, and begin to log and create more realistic requests.
5. Find the time, get out of the office and into the City!
I’ve worked with many career women who say they want a man but their actions demonstrate something very different. They have spent a lot of money on getting clear and getting close but the man fails to manifest.
Why? Because most claim they haven’t had the time.
Manifestation of what you desire requires time and effort on your part ,not simply visualizing, listing and waiting .
Get out there, get into the City and start connecting, make time to go to events, find a common interest, there’s no lack of men in the City!
If you don’t have time to do this, then stop kidding yourself you either don’t value shaving a man in your life enough or you don’t really want a man at all. A dog is a great companion if you find yourself in this category.
Get in touch, I’d love to know what your struggles are with finding love as a busy career woman and what your thoughts are on men, love and careers?
Post written by Grace. A. Kelly
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