5 Steps To Finding Your Perfect City Man
“Loving Others is Easy When I Love And Accept Myself”
Today marks the 5th year I have been with The Italian.
Sometimes it feels like a miracle happened that day I sat down next to Francesco on a stuffy Ryanair flight, ready for take off from London to visit some friends in the south of Italy.
A mix of emotions were occurring at the time, but one thing was dominantly on my mind: I wanted a man who lived in my City.
I was fed up with the party lifestyle I was living in London at the time, meeting random men ,whom I just didn’t really connect with.
I’d had enough lonesome walks around the city, convincing myself that I was very “independent” , so being in a relationship probably wasn’t for me anyway.
I was, in a nutshell, READY.
The point of power is always in the present moment
As a long-time Manifesting Queen, I knew that meeting someone right and for the longer term was, essentially , up to me.
You’re in charge of your own reality after all and that includes the relationships you create.
So how did I eventually find him?
Was it just as easy as getting on a flight?
Ha , No!
Having a man was such a void in my life at the time that it was natural I would put all of my attention and focus on finding Mr. Right.
You see you’ll always manifest what you think is most missing in your life.
So here’s what I did…….
5 Steps To Finding Your Perfect City Man.
1. I cleared all the distractions in my life and began the inner work on me. That meant coaching, learning and dealing with the dragons of self-hatred from the past.
(Relationships are always a reflection of you, if you want commitment, love, romance you have to give to yourself first!)
2. I wrote a list (may sound crazy but it’s always worked for me from manifesting millionaires & houses, to jobs and more!) of the key attributes I was looking for in this man, no fantasies, I’d already created the fantasy men before and they didn’t last, just the basic must haves, like you know tall dark and Italian!
I read and refined this list often.
3 . Every time I felt I was “missing” a relationship I got clear on what I thought I was missing, e.g. dining out, flowers, company, affection and I gave it to myself and to others.
The perception that something is missing actually keeps it even further from you.
4. I committed to going to new events in the City, and to meet new people, in doing so I made some great new connections and received lots of opportunities, essentially I demonstrated to the Universe that I was OK without the man but also ready!
5. I took the lead! Yes, I started the conversations, I followed up the calls with Francesco and I committed to making it work.
Relationships are a bit like business ; they require effort, refinement and investment but most of all they need a Leader!
So here I am, 5 years later, living in the very place I was once visiting, complete with dream beach home by the Ionian Sea , still with my lovely man.
I’ve learned to drop my unrealistic expectations I used to place on my man to do what I think is romantic, loving, best, and he’s learned to do the same with me, perhaps this is what keeps us together.
I’ve also discovered that despite the love and secure relationship, I can’t ever expect him to live outside what is important to him and vice versa.
So where is the fairytale ending Grace?
Ahh it’s there, in every smile I wake up to and in every opportunity I receive to do what I love because I’m with a man who is supporting my dreams!
Grazie Amore Mio , Ti Amo!
I’d love to have your thoughts on relationships , are you ready to find your perfect man?
Recommended reading resource: The Heart Of Love. John Demartini. Link below.