The Guide To Knowing What Your Want
Me: “I want to check out a new restaurant for lunch”.
Francesco: “I thought you said you wanted to go back to Bina’s?”
Me: “I did but in my meditation this morning I got a “no” on going there”
And so we find ourselves an hour later still looking for the right place to eat and suddenly I’m getting angry with myself for not sticking to my original desire.
Francesco’s growing hungrier and with that more impatient with me and finally I give in and say, “Ok let’s go back to Bina’s“.
I feel defeated now.
How come when I checked in with myself in meditation I got a “no” to eating there?
If my true desire was to go to Bina’s why did I even ask about it in meditation anyway?
And I know I’m not the only one doing this, I’m hearing lots of smart entrepreneurial women revert to this “let me meditate on it first” situation.
Since when has knowing what you want become a process of spiritual and mental intellectualizing?
Most recent examples of this intellectualising, include smart women saying things like “I want to work with you but I’m going to meditate on it first” , this is not connecting to spirit for answers Ladies but symptomatic of a lack of self- trust and clarity on your values and often the no.1 reason your business is stuck.
In my view we block ourselves every time we consider “why” we want something, by spiritualizing the desire, when in fact the desire is spirit speaking to us directly.
On arrival of the antipasti at Bina’s I could see exactly why I desired to return there for lunch, home made fig jam with local cacio cavallo cheeses, bacala soufflés and the most divine parmigana and fungi on the side, now that’s spiritual confirmation (on a plate) that I was meant to eat there, providing me a sense of enhanced wellbeing and style that only Bina’s could.
Next time I want to go somewhere or do something I won’t be “going within” and asking “why ” and neither should you if you intend to build a life and business based on your deepest desires.
The Guide To Knowing What You Want & Following Through
1) Connect to the feeling
Desires are made on emotion not logic, if you’re to know what you really want you’re going to have to connect more to feeling the desire.
True desires originate from your highest values in life so good news is you’ll have no problem manifesting results in rapid time if it’s a true desire, in the meantime get clear on what your values/desires are and learn to connect to the feeling by slowing down more than your busy City life currently allows.
Action– Practice moments of stillness in your day and now think about some choices in front of you, notice how each one makes you feel and commit to any that make you simply feel excited, good and more importantly are aligned with your values and purpose , at least most of the time.
2) Breathe Deeply.
Much like the one above but this time your aim is to connect to your breath regularly throughout the day.
Action: Gabrielle Bernstein shared the 1-minute breath technique in our recent celebrity interview here. Essentially she advocates that you breathe in for 5, hold for 5 breathe out for 5 and to do this daily for optimum health and connection to your body, breath and ultimately true desires.
3) Gentle action
Connecting to the desire (feeling) and then taking action steps towards making it a reality is the way to follow through.
Action: Consider what idea has been crossing your mind for sometime, something you want to do and then go take the first step to making it happen. That might mean booking a ticket to go somewhere or calling a friend to join you somewhere or simply signing on the dotted line.
This is how you build self-trust: knowing what you want and doing what you say you want to do.
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